No Food Diary: May 21, 2026
My mind is clear. My body is safe.
You may eat the food now, the monk told me, as I sat on the stairs outside the pagoda. I am not hungry, I told him. Were you meditating inside? Yes, I was. He smiled and left as gently as he arrived.
I did not tell him about the egg I threw away that morning. I missed the breakfast meal at 6:45 am, not feeling called to join. I don’t eat breakfast, but at 9 am I felt I should have some tea. I grabbed an egg thinking I might want it later, then dropped it in the trashcan as I left the dining hall. The smell of food had become overwhelming. I couldn’t finish the tea, still full from the sandwich the night before. I had to leave. So I sat in meditation instead, and heard the words of the Buddha:
Do not be troubled by what you can and cannot do. All these activities will one day cease. Learn to control the mind to control the body. Seek liberation from the suttas and you surely will find the light we all seek.
If you must, stay away from food. Use the communal eating time to enhance your practice. The mind is seeking rest, and you are finding it. You asked about your physical condition; the realization is this:
You are not your body. What you eat or do not eat does not dictate you or your health. It is better to not eat, so that you may use that time to enhance your practice. You are very close. Learn to keep going, and the isolation from the world of eating and sleeping will only benefit you and many other beings.
Continue to write down your journey. One day, the lessons will fall into the hands of someone who needs them. Many beings are waiting to find the way.
You must be diligent in your path, for this has been your goal for many lives. You have disentangled completely, and yet you came back to serve. As you are ready to conclude your experiences, learn to be grateful even for the discomfort in your body and mind. Appreciate what you have been given.
The way out is the way in. Tap into the infinity in your soul, and your body and mind will find eternal peace.
My prayer for this journey is that I may become diligent in my practice and focus on my goal. As the Buddha instructs, I receive. My gratitude to all beings who are supporting me on this path.
With the egg I threw away: it is not my first time. In fact, I have done it hundreds of times. As a child, our nanny would prepare breakfast before my siblings and I left for school. There was always a glass of warm powdered milk, sometimes noodles, and always a boiled egg. I could never eat the egg at the table, so I would carry it in my small hands all the way to school and throw it in the trashcan there.
How strange that a small action today would help me remember the pranic path I have been on my entire life.